THE PATIENT

I arrived at the clinic at 7:30 am. Making my way to the conference room, I see a few of the medical assistants enjoying a warm cup of joe in silence, pausing in between each sip to blurt out a cheerful "Good Morning!" to the medical staff. Routinely I would join them for two minutes of bliss before a hectic shift began. But today, I took my time trying to make the perfect cup of coffee. You guys know what I'm talking about, right? That perfect cup that numbs your senses from  the days troubles. That cup of joe that jumpstarts your day, and makes the world seem...perfect. I didn't take a sip from my cup of bliss, for my mind drifted toward a patient we saw just a few weeks ago with an elevated PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen)  just under 5,000. At that moment, my cup of joe didn't seem so perfect at all. From my time working as a scribe, I knew that a patient with an elevated PSA like that, was at a very high risk for prostate cancer. Metastatic prostate cancer. Normal PSA levels vary by age, and race, but this one was by far the highest I've seen. My mind was filled with many why, how, and whens. I nervously wondered what his prostate biopsy confirmed and prayed that I wouldn't have to write the dreadful words: PROSTATE CANCER in his chart, if I ever did see him again. 

I shook the thought out of my head, and kept my cup of bliss pressing against my chest as I made my way out of the conference room and into the doctors office.

After greeting my assigned physician, I went throughout the rest of my shift with ease. My cup of bliss lay untouched on the carpet. In between documenting charts and interacting with the medical assistants, the physician tells me to bring the patient in Exam Room #3 into his office. Although a very small task, I like walking into the exam rooms and greeting patients. It gives me time to engage in small talk with them, about other things in life not related to their visit. He looked  familiar, but from all the patients we had seen in the past few weeks, I couldn't seem to remember his name or the reason for his visit. He  was accompanied by an effervescent female friend who made jokes all the way to the office. They were like two peas in a pod!  Upon arrival, his chart was sent to me and as soon as I opened it, I knew who the guy in exam room #3 was. The guy with the ridiculously elevated PSA. 

I took a sip.

Like my coffee, the encounter was sweet yet bitter. I had to choke back tears as his friend was telling me what a wonderful man he is and the story of how their friendship grew. Sadly, her time with him has been shortened due to his metastatic prostate cancer, yet he was ok with his diagnosis. It didn't faze him one bit, as if he were in a state of bliss.  As I dreadfully finish up documenting the encounter, I wonder how  someone diagnosed with a very high grade cancer be blissful? It is moments like these that make me want to slow down and take life one day at a time. 

One second at a time. 

❤