COUNTDOWN TO THESIS DEFENSE: DAY 1

WOW. I can't believe my thesis defense is tomorrow. Just thinking that around this time tomorrow I will officially have the M.S after my name is crazy. This journey has been the most challenging ever, but I know I'm not finished. Being in this program was so empowering for me. I joined because I wanted to learn more about the reproductive system and to better understand the factors affecting reproductive function. I am hoping to use what I have learned in these two years, to make a difference in the Latinx community worldwide.

This is still only a small part of an even bigger journey. It has taken me years to get to this point in my life, and I am immensely grateful for the roadblocks I've experienced because they have only made me stronger. I am my biggest competitor, and that will never change. It's important to focus on how the path you're currently on, will make you flourish in a new environment. Whatever your journey, just remember that you will adapt to your current situation. It will amaze you how much you've accomplished, yet how much room there still is for improvement. And yes, it's going to be so overwhelming to the point that you consider giving up. Sometimes it'll make you wonder why you even set foot on this journey, to begin with. But your feet are already on the pavement and you have to keep moving forward. 

COUNTDOWN TO THESIS DEFENSE: DAY 9

Don't you just love reading scientific literature? This is  a paper published by my lab a few years ago!

I met with my advisor today, and boy do I have some revisions to make! I need to do some more literature review to back up my thoughts regarding the results I've obtained thus far,  and this iced coffee is setting me in the mood. I plan on getting at least 80% of my revisions done in the next 6 hours, so keep me in your prayers! I'm both excited and nervous just thinking that my final draft will be sent out no later than this Friday. On top of that, my defense is next Friday so I still have to prepare my defense slides and go over them a few times before the real deal. Anyways let me not waste my time. I just wanted to give you all an update on where my head is at right now and what I have left to accomplish!

COUNTDOWN TO THESIS DEFENSE: DAY 10

After a mental breakdown a few weeks ago, and constantly living in a bubble of self-doubt, I submitted a draft of my thesis to my PI last night.

 I am DRAINED.

My thesis defense is only 10 DAYS away which is kinda crazy that these past two years have flown by in the blink of an eye! I'm currently full of nerves and overall doubtful about how I will perform during my defense. But I have to do my best to put my feelings aside, seeing that I'm not out of the woods just yet. Honestly, in these past few weeks leading up to this moment, I have realized a few things about my character that I have to change regarding how I perceive myself. Some of these things were no eyeopener, yet I have a difficult time understanding how much of an impact my negative thoughts have on my personal growth.

From this day forward, I vow to not think negatively of myself and to always keep a positive mindset. When things don't go as planned, I need to learn to relax take a step back and figure out what I can do at that moment. I also need to be more open to taking constructive criticism. If I'm honest, I take them too personally and end up feeling attacked rather then given appropriate advice. However, I need to change that adjust my mindset to make substantial progress in an academic or professional setting. 

Most times people believe I have my life altogether and look up to me for that reason. They believe everything works out perfectly for me, but in reality, it has not. I too struggle with a lot of things on a personal and spiritual level that I don't necessarily like to share. And I'm working on adjusting my perception of self so that I am not too critical of myself throughout this journey. Because every day is just another opportunity to be better than the last. Striving towards your goals, and embracing your failures is all part of the process. So if you've been a bit too self-critical lately, relax. You're doing just enough at this moment to reach your goal. Remember that.

COUNTDOWN TO THESIS DEFENSE: DAY 22

Sometimes you have to understand that there are a lot of events in life that are out of your control. Life still moves on while you're in graduate school and death is stranger to no one. I found out this week that my uncle passed away. And to be honest, it has been quite difficult to process his death, while at the same time focusing on my research. Yesterday I cried while doing experiments, in between experiments, and during my lunch break. I'm sure my lab-mates probably thought I was having a mental breakdown. No one asked if I was ok, yet at the same time, I did not want to discuss my family member's death with anyone. 

I wanted to grieve, yet I felt that I had to at least be level headed while in the lab. I felt that the demands of grad school needed me to be strong and move on. Even though I wanted to purchase a plane ticket and mourn with my family, I knew I couldn't because I am behind on experiments and didn't think my PI would give me the time off. My thesis submission is next Friday and my defense at the end of this month. 

So, I did my best today to push through and focus on what I had planned. And so far, I'm feeling hopeful that I can generate some data by the end of this week or early next week. In science, it's all about telling a convincing story with the results you generate. And that can take a lot of time, especially when you need to compare your research to work that has already been done. Then the pinnacle aspect of science is explaining how your research contributes to the gap in knowledge within the field.